if (2018)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust your tests when all devs doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait for green and not be tempted to ignore,
Or, asked about coverage, don’t deal in lies.
When scope creeps, you go write more,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can review – and not make pull requests your master;
If you can comment – and not make criticism your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you apply that analyser of which we’ve spoken,
To catch those mistakes that make traps for fools,
Or watch the tests you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with open source tools;

If you can make one heap of all your test
And risk it on one u-turn from the boss,
And lose, and start again with your best
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can calm the heart beating in your chest,
To build a test framework up in Git.
If you can fix that flaky UI test,
Soon the complaints everyone will forget.

If you can talk with devs and keep your virtue,
Or walk with founders – nor lose the common touch;
If neither bugs nor broken builds can hurt you;
If all devs count with you, but not too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving build
With integration tests, you oughta –
Own the code base for you are skilled,
And – which is more – you’ll be an SDET my daughter!

Alexander Dunn

With apologies to Rudyard Kipling.

© 2018 Alexander Dunn

if (2018) by Alexander Dunn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at http://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poems_if.htm.